Campin Out!

How I spent my Summer Vocation

Last week I'm at work and I get the chance to talk to Helen (not her real name). Helen is a substitute clerical worker in my office. She's called to fill in when there's an absence or a particular need for the extra help. She's only interested in temporary work anyway since her outside life is pretty full. Helen is the mother of 11 children.

When I first heard this I flipped out. ELEVEN KIDS? I couldn't wait to talk to her I had SO many questions! For openers...WHY? Next, how many boxes of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese does it take to satisfy 11 hungry piranhas? Do you get the use the bathroom only once every three years? Must you spend the first 18 years of your young life using damp towel against your freshly showered body? Do you get your own underwear or is it more of a Socialistic collective? Questions and more questions.

Helen was eager to speak of her family, to enlighten me about her "married vocation?" See, I'm gay, unmarried, and childless--a real wonder to someone who spent 17 years married, pregnant and blessed! Seventeen years. I've been out of high school that long. I could have 11 kids! (I can't even get my dog to stop whizzing in the house I can't imagine being "blessed" with 11 little people each demanding love, attention & paper-training!)

Helen can not only imagine it, but dreamed about it as a young girl and welcomed each dead bunny! One of 3 children herself, she always knew she wanted a large family. "In high school we were asked what we wanted to be when we grew up," she explained, "and I knew even back then that I wanted to be the mother of 15 children." She fell short of her goal, but delighted in the birth of each child nonetheless.

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It saddens her even yet that only 5 are at home now. She misses the summer vacations of packing up her small army and discovering America. Helen still finds herself looking for new parks to share with her babies, to remember that the youngest is now 12 and no longer interested in swingsets and sliding boards. He first grandchild is on the way, though, and she finds joy in planning to spend time with that newest addition.

"We didn't PLAN our families when I was a newlywed," she recalls. "I was raised Catholic and the PLAN was to get married and to have as many children as God gave us. We always knew that if God gave them to us, we'd also be given the provisions we'd need to raise them." A simple faith, and it seemed to work well for her and her family. "Society lies to women today," she continued. "It tells them that motherhood is not a fulfilling enough experience and discourages some who would be wonderful mothers. To others who probably shouldn't have children, it says they have to have them and by a certain age if they want to be complete people." Got me thinking. I've been planning my family since Kindergarten. Lately I've been hoping that I'll make up my mind aobut having my first born before menopause creeps in and decides for me!

Helen reminded me that THE CHURCH used to say there were three vocations one could choose from (or be spiritually "called" into): married life, clergy service, or the SINGLE LIFE. The single life... a vocation? Historically, I've always been in a deep, meaningful relationship or in hot pursuit of a deep, meaningful relationship. The "down time", that inbetween / no-relationship period has usually been very growth filled, but nothing you want to stay in too long. I mean, who wants to be without a "significant other'? Aren't you isolating if you're not dating? (And by the way, what IS dating exactly? Is that before or after moving in?) Don't you need to be in a relationship to learn all those things you can only experience with another person in your life? A vocation, huh? It's okay to CHOOSE to be alone? Hmmmmm. Food for thought. Anyway...now that Helen has handled the survival of the species, the pressure is off and I guess I can take all the time I need to ponder this issue. by Patty M.

REVIEW:

BEING OUT AT WORK by Ed SantaVicca

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